I like the superlatives of Christianity

Like "reckless abandon" and "extravagant welcome"!

If you have some more to add please leave me a comment.

How I arrived at where I am

No, this is not a post about the myth of the Mormon Pre-existence.  Someone just asked me how I converted to Christ.  I wrote a long reply and then decided to put it here too in case anyone else would like to know:

I was a teenage convert to Mormonism, so I believe my family is heaving a sigh of relief that I finally woke up. Most of them are church-goers in the South.  So far I've only revealed my change to a few staunch LDS friends (besides the few who weren't members or active members).  So far no one has shunned me.  I know that a couple are profoundly shocked because I was an active Mormon for most of my life, having served a mission, married in the temple, etc.  One did such a double-take I really thought she'd pass out on me.  Another active member of Mormon pioneer ancestry took it so well she actually joked with me over my change of underwear.

How did my change happen? I started reading the Bible.

Little wedges of doubt had started when the LDS church worked so hard against marriage equality in California.  I have a female cousin who has had a wife for years.  I can't imagine asking her to give up her spouse and yet my former church wanted me to give time and money to fight against people just like her.  I couldn't find anything in any of the LDS scriptures where Jesus spoke directly against homosexuals, so I started researching in the Bible too.  I saw that people could argue both sides, but again Jesus never rejected anyone and never made one plain statement about gay people.  I couldn't believe His "true church" ought to actively use politics to persecute people.

Time passed and I decided to read the Bible cover to cover.  I'd never done it although I'd read some selections for Sunday School and for other classes.  I had read the other "standard works" of the LDS church multiple times.  They seemed easier to comprehend.  No offense to the King James Version, but it was hard for me to understand, and it's the version the church uses.  (And you may be aware that the church says they believe in the Bible "insofar as it is translated correctly."  So using the Bible as you talk to members may be hard since a lot don't trust it anyway.)

I started with Genesis and compared the creation story in it to the one in the Book of Abraham.  Then I got online (thank Heaven for the Internet) and researched the Book of Abraham.  I'd never had a reason to doubt it before, so when I saw a link to a scholarly site assessing its validity, I went there.  Oops. Suddenly I had BIG questions.  I stayed up all that night reading page after page about the church, the "prophets," and its "scriptures."  The sites were done by former members or Christian ministries and weren't what I expected when it came to "anti-Mormon" literature.

I missed church that Sunday morning after my all-night vigil, and all the Sundays after that.  I never went back.  I couldn't because it would be dishonest.  I was and still am sad to not see the people I care about each week. I asked to have my name removed and here I am, a free agent looking for a team.

Soon I passed through a few difficult days where I really wondered if there even was a God.  I had spent decades of my life making most of my decisions based on a lie.  But at the close of that first night of research I told God out loud that I was going to act on the belief that He was there even though I wasn't sure how to talk to him or if anything I had learned was true.

I started right in on getting different translations of the Bible and gathering lots of books written by Christians.  My doubts about God's existence finally stopped when I read Lee Strobel's "Case for a Creator."  Now I am reading all the way in Judges and coming to appreciate more and more God's love and genius.

In closing, I think I only once spoke to a Christian outside Temple Square.  I remember feeling sorry that they were missing out on the Book of Mormon. Now I shake my head at the arrogance I had then.  I wish I had listened sooner.  On the other hand, I pray that my former faithfulness to the LDS church will help me inspire current members to come to the real Savior, Jesus, and trust Him, not in all those works they always feel they have to do to be worthy.

It's not in the observance

Wow, I just had a breakthrough.  I've been concerned about where to attend church.  Remember my Mormon background and its emphasis on proper authority and rituals done in a certain way.  I've researched baptism because I was worried about the differences between Christian churches in the way it is performed.  I had it in my mind that there should be a "right" way.  I just finished reading the five books of Moses and it was very plain to me that God could state explicit details over how to do things and I've been frustrated because there are no such details given in the New Testament.  Then today the Holy Spirit showed me why.  It's not the Law that matters now, it's the heart.  Exact observance of rituals doesn't save anyone.  And putting that kind of control and power in the hands of one "authorized" group is a recipe for disaster.

It's the heart that matters.  No one but God can judge our hearts.  He protected us from "unrighteous dominion" by denying us an earthly priesthood ruling class and He made only Himself responsible for judging us.  We can just focus on worshipping Him and keeping our hearts right with Him.  How awesome is that!

Do vs Be

I just found this blog post comparing an article in the Ensign to the Bible. (The Ensign is the official magazine of the Mormon church.  The article in the Ensign was a talk (kind of like a sermon) given by the current Mormon prophet, Thomas Monson, in the April 2012 General Conference of the church.)

Look close to the bottom of the post.  It's the classic viewpoint of the church, the one that has every Mormon wondering if they'll really be good enough to make it to heaven after all.  Monson said "Such blessings are earned through a lifetime of striving, seeking, repenting, and finally succeeding.”  The blog's author contrasts this with what the Bible says, "“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”  (Ephesians 2:8-9) 

I liked the author's statement earlier in the post that the command to "be perfect" is not a process, but a result of justification, of being born again.  Again, it is a gift because of grace. Humans are not capable of being perfect by ourselves.  When I was an active member of the LDS church, I remember worrying sometimes that I just wasn't doing enough to make it to the "celestial kingdom," the Mormon's idea of a highest level of heaven.  I might have been paying a full tithe but I wasn't volunteering to take time off work and go work for free at the cannery or donating a big enough fast offering.  I did genealogy, but only sporadically.  I didn't make it to the temple every week. As a Mormon, there's always more to do. 

The more I read the Bible now, the more I see what a tremendous difference between the Word of God and the words of the LDS church.  I was easily fooled into following what church leaders said because I never really read the Bible--not with the love and respect I have for it now.  And like Jesus said, His yoke is easy and his burden is light.

Someone to talk to

I've been reading a delightful and insightful book called "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus" by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg.  (If you want to know more, see their site.)  They suggest getting a haver, or friend. The way they described it made me think of  study partners as seen in the movie, Yentl. Like for the scriptural discussions and debate.  I like this idea and have prayed for someone to be my study partner now. I had a friend like this once, but she moved away and started a family years ago.  Our contact is infrequent now.  But when we saw each other every day, we almost always had insights to share with one another.  We prayed together, we had many enlightened moments, and it was very uplifting to have a friend like that.

At present, I am surrounded by members of the LDS church.  There is a world of doctrinal difference between us now.  Since I am still feeling like a child learning Christianity, I would feel safer with a haver/haverah who is Christian.  The church I have visited a few times does not have a regular study group.  There are other churches around, so perhaps it is up to me to seek out a place.  I am reluctant for one reason: one of the first issues that caused me shame about being LDS was their stand toward gays and lesbians and transgender people.  Remember the Prop 8 mess in California?  I felt inside that Jesus would not reject or punish someone who wanted a relationship with someone of the same gender.  I am uncertain which others of the handful of churches in this area are welcoming and I don't want to get invested in one that is close-minded.  (For a well-reasoned presentation on Christianity and homosexuality, see http://matthewvines.tumblr.com/ )

While I look for a study friend, I found myself talking to God this morning as I read the first chapter of Acts in an interlinear Greek-English New Testament.  And I figured He could be my haver for now, the best one anyone could have.