What is Sin? (part 1, According to the Latter Day Saints)

As a Mormon, I associated sin with breaking the rules of the church, going against the words of the prophet, or failing to do what was expected of me as a member. For example, I never was a smoker, but I knew an older man who was and he struggled  over continuing to smoke because it was against the Word of Wisdom. He still came to church, and even served in a voluntary position as the ward clerk, but he smoked in secret. I knew this because as a missionary in his ward, I ran into him after church one day in the street. He flipped his cigarette over and somehow put it out in his own hand before my companion and I arrived at his side. My companion and I had heard rumors and then we saw him in the act. But we didn't say anything about it to him because we'd heard his wife was ashamed of it and we didn't want to make it worse and have him go inactive.

As for me, I felt worried if I skipped going to sacrament meeting and taking the sacrament because that was considered to be a necessary "renewal of my baptismal covenant" with God. (One of the LDS apostles, David Bednar, said this: "Through the ordinance of the sacrament we renew our baptismal covenant and can receive and retain a remission of our sins.") I was fearful if I didn't pay my tithing because I didn't want to "burn" when the Lord came again to the Earth. (He that is tithed shall not be burned at his coming: D&C 64:23) Once I refused a calling and felt guilty for that because I'd been taught callings came from God, and refusing a calling was refusing to serve God. Various church leaders and prophets said that members should not watch R-rated movies, so I felt wicked for giving into temptation and seeing "Schindler's List." Not getting visiting teaching done, not going regularly to the temple, not treating garments (underwear for people who have been "endowed" at the temple) with proper respect (seriously--don't drop them on on the floor, don't let people see them, don't roll them up to wear more revealing clothing over top, wear them 24/7) ("How it is worn is an outward expression of an inward commitment to follow the Savior," First Presidency Letter, 10 Oct. 1988)....there are many ways for a Mormon to "sin" besides breaking the Ten Commandments. Now perhaps I missed something in all those 27 years of being a member and am classifying all this as  sin for Mormons when perhaps another member of the church would say sins are only things like being unchaste, lying, murdering. Let me look up how they define it on their official church website.

Sin: See also Abominable, Abomination; Filth, Filthiness; Offend; Rebellion; Ungodly; Unrighteous, Unrighteousness; Wicked, Wickedness

Willful disobedience to God’s commandments.

So now I ask, what do they consider to be God's commandments?

Commandments of God: See also Commandments, the Ten; Law; Obedience, Obedient, Obey; Sin; Word of God

The laws and requirements that God gives to mankind, either individually or collectively. 

Remember the man I saw smoking? Well, the Word of Wisdom is considered to be a commandment currently, although it was originally "given as a principle with a promise." If a person uses tobacco, drinks tea, coffee, or alcohol or uses illegal drugs, they are not allowed to attend the temple.

There's the "law of chastity"--no sexual relations before marriage. Breaking that can get a person as far as excommunicated depending on how much happened and if the person has been "endowed" in the temple.

Here are a couple more things (found under under the definition for Obedience):

In nothing does man offend God, save those who confess not his hand and obey not his commandments: Doctrine&Covenants 59:21

I the Lord am bound when you do what I say: D&C 82:10

When we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated: D&C 130:21 

People must be chastened until they learn obedience: D&C 105:6

Really?

Can you see why Mormons run around stressed out, doing everything they believe is expected of them? It isn't just the peer pressure they put on each other to conform. They think they have to earn blessings, contribute to their salvation, prove themselves to God. I feel so sorry for them.

A Year Forward into Freedom

I don't know the exact date that I pulled an all-nighter and discovered that the LDS Church was full of lies. It's been about a year now. I have been musing on the changes in my life, the miracles, the challenges, the freedom I grow to love more each passing month and the anger I still feel.

I had a lot of good times as a member of the LDS church, mostly due to my friends and the warm fuzzy feelings from being an included part of the group. Or else due to my own strong desires to be good, to seek God. I learned at least one useful skill--how to speak to groups of people without fainting.

I also still feel very betrayed by the historic and current church leadership. In the age of the Internet it is hard to hide information and yet they still do it the best they can. They still rule over their kingdom that continues to grow in wealth.

I did give away a Bible during this past year. It was The Message, a modern language paraphrase translation by Eugene Peterson. I gave it to my dear friend who was the first member outside of my family that I told about leaving the church. I don't know if she has looked at it yet. It seems one of the side effects of leaving the church is the way I am separated from people I called friends because they are constantly busy with their church callings and activities. I am not so busy anymore, which I have found is a relief. But I am not with my friends in all their meetings anymore so I rarely see them now. I have spoken to my friend and seen her a few times, but it has been me that reaches out to her.

Meanwhile I am happy with my new church home. When I see same sex couples I rejoice that everyone is welcome there. When I sing in the small choir I think about how I am doing it to praise God. When I don't agree with the pastor I am free to discuss it with him. If I give money to the collection plate I do it because I want to keep the church going and growing and meet its needs, not because I'm afraid of what might happen if I don't give. One longtime member of the Christian church I attend has always been a Christian and she is sometimes baffled by her Mormon neighbors' beliefs. We had a talk about my change of church and I told her I would never go back. God has led me out of bondage and fear to where I am free to worship Him of my own free will.

I had a nice surprise the other night. I've been reading The Message at night and using the NIV and NRSV as my primary study Bibles. I really like the NIV translation. I hadn't so much as cracked open a King James Version in a few months. But I purchased a Jefferson Bible, used, out of curiosity. I was shocked to see that the archaic language wasn't such an impediment for me anymore. I choose to believe that my time studying and loving the Bible has paid off by God granting me understanding. Topics like grace are so much clearer now.

A friend who is still LDS told me the Bible was distasteful because of the sex and violence and stories about the dark side of human nature.  She's been reading it though, and sharing with me her questions and thoughts. I have probably been a little too enthusiastic in sharing the new knowledge I am gaining, but I revel in the fact that she is Thinking as she reads. I have told her some of the many questions I had as I read too. I have a notebook where I keep track of some of them, and the research I've done on them. I decided in the beginning to be courageous in my asking and I have found answers. Sometimes I talk out loud to God to ask Him why in the world something was done a certain way.

One of the Christian ministries to Mormons wrote something about God becoming so much bigger for people leaving the LDS church. It's true for me. God is Huge, and I am still getting to know Him. Now that I know He's not the limited being of flesh and bone, one of a succession of many gods, as the Mormons think of him, I know He is with me. I invite Him along with me and I found He is a very patient companion. I love the Christian idea about a relationship with Him. I am further along in understanding His real love for us all here. Instead of a god to fear if I let him down by me not doing enough, I am learning that it's all about what He did. And I am so glad for what He has done!

What Not to Do if You Want to Win Someone Over to Christ

I apologize for the long hiatus. I'm back. I've been suffering through the loss of family and friends dear to me who all passed away within a month. I saw and felt lots of evidence of God's love and care for me all this while. I just didn't have the wherewithal to continue blogging till now.

Today after church one of the members brought a visitor to meet me.  This woman was introduced to me as a member of the LDS church who was worried about her family finding out that she was looking outside the church. The woman was young and had small children with her.  They were all nicely dressed just like many Mormons are on Sundays, and the woman was smiling.  She had been brave enough to write down her contact information for the church.

This is where I wanted to say all the right things when I should have been listening. I told her I used to be LDS and had just transitioned last year. Then I babbled on in my enthusiasm, even mentioning this blog. I gave her my email address. And I think I killed the conversation with my eagerness. She was distracted by her children and then was gone, meeting other people.

I hope the other people were better with her than I was. I assessed my experience once I sat in my car and realized it would have been better to find out what brought her to our church than to overwhelm her with information. The Spirit taught me something important today and I am grateful.

I hope the next time I meet one of these rare people courageous enough to look around I will ask more questions and listen and put myself on the back burner until I am needed.

Looking back from the other side

This weekend was General Conference for Mormons.  While they gathered at the Conference Center in Salt Lake or around their TVs and PCs, I spent part of Saturday in my new church helping do some detail cleaning that the paid weekly cleaners don't do. I pondered how my views have changed so much this year. 

I looked at a photo of a wealthy woman from the 1800s who put her money into building the church I was cleaning.  I remember seeing her photo when I first visited the church around Christmastime last year.  My LDS visiting teaching companion and I went to see the Nativity scenes on display inside and to show support for the woman we visit-taught, who attended the church and even worked there. 

I chuckle now at my viewpoint then.  I wondered why was the woman we visited attending this church? Surely any Christian church was just a poor mockery of the true gospel of Christ.  Was she perhaps offended by someone in our LDS ward? And then this woman in history, why would she fight against the tide so much that she spent her money building the church?

But on this past Saturday, I thought to myself: Thank God that I visit-taught this woman who introduced me to this happy, welcoming church. And I tipped my baseball hat to the woman in the black and white photo for making this building possible.

I can hardly believe that I was so sure of myself back in the LDS days. I spent so much time judging everything else to be less-than and didn't even recognize it.

Manuscript under scrutiny by our friend Textual Criticism

"Now British scholar pours water on 'fake' papyrus text that claimed Jesus had a wife." See the full article at the Daily Mail.

"New Testament scholar Professor Francis Watson of Durham University says the fragment, which caused an international sensation this week, is a collage of texts from the Gospel of Thomas, copied and reassembled out of order."

A Harvard Divinity professor, Dr. Karen King, brought the papyrus into the spotlight.  Scholars dated it to the fourth century AD (300s) and said it was probably from Egypt.

As soon as I saw the headlines earlier this week, I knew there would be LDS members getting excited that this was proof that Jesus had to marry to achieve godhood. But keep in mind that if the manuscript is not a forgery, it was written well after the time of Jesus and even Dr. King said it isn't reliable as a biography compared to the other sources we have.

Who really wrote the Bible?

Ever heard of the Documentary Hypothesis? I hadn't until about a month ago. My pastor handed me a book called, "The Bible with Sources Revealed." It was written by the same fellow whose "Commentary on the Torah" had been helpful to me earlier. Richard Elliott Friedman is his name and he is a well-known Biblical scholar. I read the introduction and wanted to understand it better, so I purchased a used copy of "Who Wrote the Bible?" It is Dr. Friedman's first offering to the public of his theory, published in 1987.

He did not invent the Documentary Hypothesis; it evolved in the 1700s and 1800s. People studying the Bible noticed certain trends, like some stories appearing two times with different renderings. The Creation story does this, as does the Flood. These scholars surmised that someone might have edited together documents by different authors. Other clues were the way God was called "Elohim" sometimes and "Yahweh" other times. There were other patterns, like how those who used "Elohim" don't mention the Ark and those who wrote "Yahweh" don't talk about the Tabernacle.

At first, learning about this rocked my world in a bad way. Hadn't I always heard that Moses wrote the first five books of the Bible? Apparently I wasn't the only one who didn't like hearing that this might not be the case, at least not in the form as the Pentateuch exists today. As I read about the evolution of the hypothesis, I found out that people were excommunicated and put to death for suggesting such things.

But as I continued to read, I saw that Dr. Friedman did not rob me of hope. He states that the editors and authors of the Bible as it stands today put together their works from older records, either oral or written. So far as I understand it, the Documentary Hypothesis is not saying that the Bible is myth, or its writings were invented well after events, but that the Bible as it appears today is a composite. That intrigues me.

Lee Strobel believes the Bible is reliable

I love this guy.  He was an atheist journalist who became a Christian pastor.  When I began to transition to being a Christian myself I read his book "The Case for Christ."  When I found myself wondering if there really was a God, I read "The Case for a Creator."  He presents common doubts and questions and interviews scholars about them.  Each time God is revealed in the evidence.

I find myself needing a boost now and then, so I am currently reading "The Case for the Real Jesus."

I still have doubts pop up over stuff that I thought I was sure about.  The other evening I read about the apostle Paul and how his letters have information that conflicts with the story written in Acts.  That started me worrying about the reliability of the Bible all over again.  Funny when I've just been writing about how trustworthy it is.  I don't have an explanation for that discrepancy yet, but I am sure I am not the first person to wonder about it.  Turns out the world of Christian apologetics is rich in explanations and full of different denominations.  I don't have to take anyone's word for it, I can study it myself, which I both stress over and enjoy.  It used to be simple to just accept what the LDS leaders said and not question. That is the path to hell, in my mind anyway, to rely on the words of men who claim to know God's will and have His authority, but whose policies change over the decades according to culture and the economy.

It's harder to take in opposing viewpoints and sort through a lot of information.  I am sure there are Christians who are content to not dig around, but I don't want to be like that.  I want to know for myself and I want to be able to explain to others when they are hurting for answers, like Lee Strobel does.